Her entry into this world.

After 37 weeks of carrying our baby around, the day finally arrived when we had to welcome her into the world. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was pleasantly aware of all her different styles of punches, kicks and nudges. I would utter to myself "that must be her elbow" or "ooh that must be her feet" - it was as though I was already getting to know her as I carried her around. All the discomfort aside (from having blown up to twice my size), it was a beautiful feeling to be able to develop another human being within myself.

It was midnight on the 24th of November (which happens to be my birthday as well) when we rushed to the hospital. After a gruelling 14 hours of labour (I'll spare the details), our beautiful bundle of joy finally arrived. The moment the nurse placed her onto my body, she took my breath away and I was numb to the pain that I had just experienced. It was as though that moment lasted for a lifetime.

As I write this post today, our baby girl, Ananya, is almost 3 months old! She is full of curiosity about the world as well as thirsty for knowledge and understanding (apart from milk). She has started making all kinds of sounds and tries to communicate with my Husband and me in her own "language". She mimics our sounds and attempts to reply. Over the past 3 months, we have watched her grow and are filled with immense love for this tiny being. It has been tiring and exhilarating thus far and because of her we have been born and renewed as parents. 

All this aside, Ananya has been my strength and motivation even before her birth, when she was inside me. If not for her, I would have completely crumbled last year. Much has transpired last year with the passing of my Grandmother and my Father and Ananya is the one who (unknowingly) kept me strong and gave us all faith and hope for a new beginning. As I type this, my eyes may be tearing but my heart is filled with an immense sense of unconditional love for our beloved Daughter. I want to catch every moment of her growth and development and document and celebrate all her tiny achievements. If there's something that last year taught me it is this: life is too short - cherish every moment and live it to the fullest.

April 5th: When we first found out.

I still remember that it was the Sunday after April Fool's Day, on the 5th of April. When I awoke that morning at around 6 a.m., I had a feeling that something had changed. I had been feeling different for a few weeks already and felt that it was right to finally test. So at 6 a.m., I tested and the result brought tears of joy to my eyes.

At that moment, when I realized that I was carrying our baby, the feeling was inexplicable. My husband and I had been trying for a baby for some time and this moment just made the wait so worthwhile. It was around 3.30 a.m. in India at that point in time, when I called my husband to tell him the news. His excitement was uncontrollable as well and he said that he tossed and turned around in bed, unable to return back to his slumber.

This was the moment that we found out about our biggest blessing - a symbol of our love and union and the moment when we transit from being 2 people to a family. Our small, loving family of three. We start to envision how we will pass down values to our child, how we will bring up our child to be a loving, compassionate human being as well as how we will develop ourselves as parents.

Our baby is just the size of a sesame seed at this point in time and we marvel at how something this tiny would eventually grow into a human being. The feeling of being a vessel for the growth of our child both thrills me and makes me nervous. But whatever it is, this tiny human being will be completely dependent on me for its development for 40 weeks!

Whatever challenges that are to come, I embrace. Just as we embrace this news with tears in our eyes and just as we embrace our child with love in our hearts. Thank you God for this blessing of joy.